雅思寫作范文及解析-教育類

雅思寫作大作文中，題目中會給出一個看法、問題或議題，考生需就此進行論述。根據(jù)不同的情況，考生可能需要針對問題提出解決方法、論述和證明一個看法、對比和對照論據(jù)或看法、或者評價和反駁一個論點或觀點。這篇作文的內(nèi)容是學(xué)術(shù)性的，因此考生應(yīng)該運用正規(guī)的學(xué)術(shù)寫作的、議論性的文體?？忌鷳?yīng)注意完整地閱讀并回答題目中涉及的問題?？忌鷳?yīng)在寫作中注意對所有的觀點加以充分論述，并且所有的觀點都與論點有關(guān)?？忌鷳?yīng)嚴密地安排選擇論點、選擇最為相關(guān)的論點，并在規(guī)定的時間內(nèi)清晰、準確地寫作成文。

文章字數(shù)不能少于250字，建議考生用40分鐘完成。作文二比作文一所占的分數(shù)比例要大，如果考生沒有完成這部分內(nèi)容成績將大打折扣。這一部分考察的是考生對一個論點進行論述、并提供清晰的論據(jù)或舉例支持論點的能力。考官將對考生組織這些信息的能力以及語言使用的準確性進行評分。

下面來看一篇來自劍5 Test 2題目的范文及解析。(This model has been prepared by an examiner as an example of a very good answer.)

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Topic:In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.在一些國家年輕人被鼓勵在完成高中學(xué)習(xí)和開始大學(xué)學(xué)習(xí)之間工作或者旅行一年。討論年輕人決定這樣做的優(yōu)點和缺點。

第一段：It is quite common these days for young people in many countries to have a break from studying after graduating from high school(it 引導(dǎo)的形式主語從句). The trend is not restricted to rich students who have the money to travel, but is also evident among poorer students who choose to work and become economically independent (副詞的使用)for a period of time.

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第二段：The reasons for this trend may involve the recognition that a young adult who passes directly from school to university is rather restricted in terms of general knowledge and experience of the world. By contrast(介詞短語), those who have spent some time earning a living or travelling to other places, have a broader view of life and better personal resources to draw on. They tend to be more independent, which is a very important factor in academic study and research(非限定性定語從句), as well as(連詞) giving(分詞作狀語) them an advantage in terms of coping with the challenges of student life.

第三段：However(副詞), there are certainly dangers in taking time off at that important age. Young adults may end up never returning to their studies or finding it difficult to readapt to an academic environment. They may think different from a university course. But overall, I think this is less likely today, when(when引導(dǎo)的非限定性定語從句) academic qualifications are essential for getting a reasonable career.

最后一段：My view is that (表語從句)young people should be encouraged to broaden their horizons.That is the best way for them to get a clear perspective of what(what 引導(dǎo)的名詞性從句) they are hoping to do with their lives and why. Students with such a perspective are usually the most effective and motivated ones and(并列句) taking a year off (動名詞短語做主語) may be the best way to gain this.

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Analysis

本文話題：空檔年

A.表層分析：

1.貼近話題以及亮點詞匯: economically independent, general knowledge, experience of the world, view of life, personal resources, academic study, readapt, academic qualifications, horizons, perspective, effective and motivated,

2.固定搭配：見原文加粗內(nèi)容

3.語法廣度：(每種一個示例，其它見原文粗體標注) 在七八種以上，準確性優(yōu)秀。

It做形式主語的主語從句：It is quite common these days for young people in many countries to have a break from studying after graduating from high school.

表語從句：My view is that young people should be encouraged to broaden their horizons.

非限定性定語從句：They tend to be more independent, which is a very important factor in academic study and research, …

現(xiàn)在分詞作狀語：as well as(連詞) giving them an advantage in terms of coping with the challenges of student life.

what 引導(dǎo)的名詞性從句: That is the best way for them to get a clear perspective of what they are hoping to do with their lives and why.

動名詞短語做主語：Students with such a perspective are usually the most effective and motivated ones and(并列句) taking a year off may be the best way to gain this. (并列句)

B.中層評析：(觀點和邏輯展現(xiàn))

1)觀點：暫停一短時間學(xué)業(yè)的優(yōu)點大于缺點

2)結(jié)構(gòu)：

Introduction：對背景信息進行詳細陳述(“空檔年gap year”的現(xiàn)象)

Body 1：舉例論證——該趨勢的優(yōu)勢。

Body 2：舉例+讓步轉(zhuǎn)折論證——該趨勢有一定危險性，但是這些缺點發(fā)生概率很小。

Conclusion: 總結(jié)自己的觀點——優(yōu)點大于缺點

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C.整體分析：

TR：結(jié)構(gòu)清晰，舉例說服力強，論證邏輯合理。

LR：用詞準確，貼近話題。

CC：連貫性強，結(jié)尾清晰點明立場。

GRA：語法廣度和準確性優(yōu)秀，非限定性定語從句多樣(when, which引導(dǎo))，總體語法亮點在七八種。

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